Sometimes we ask our men to do something, and whether if it’s because they forgot or just didn’t do it, we ask them again, and again, and again. Eventually we get tired of saying the same thing to them, and they get annoyed at us for nagging them constantly. According to studies, nagging is one of the biggest relationship killers. No one likes to be nagged, and no one likes to be the naggee. Read on to find out how to kick this unattractive habit.
1) Explain how you feel
Often when we nag, it’s not about the issue being nagged about. It’s a deeper rooted problem.
Maybe you feel animosity towards him because he’s constantly putting you in charge of cooking and cleaning. Maybe he’s always leaving the toilet seat up.
Nagging is used as a front to a deeper problem that needs to be resolved.
When you nag someone, and they don’t do what you ask, sometimes it seems as if they don’t care about your feelings.
Try to explain to him the next time he leaves you with the dishes that you feel you’re not both contributing the same amount to housework. Say it in a nice and loving way, and explain to him that you’re tired too when you come home from work.
Give examples like how you two can cook together and make it an activity. This way he won’t feel like you’re attacking him. Once he understands that it’s hurting your feelings, he’ll listen and do what you ask.
2) Be patient
Sometimes we nag without giving our partners a chance to perform what we asked them to do.
If you’ve asked your man to do the laundry and he hasn’t done it yet, give him some time. Sooner or later the laundry will need to be done, and he’ll remember to do it.
Often all it takes is a little time for your partner to do something. Don’t always assume they’ll do it right away, but rather be understanding that they have other things and chores to do as well.
3) Remember you love him
When we nag our partners, we sometimes forget that we love them and they love us back. They’re not trying to make us nag them on purpose.
They care about how we feel and ultimately, want to make us happy.
Nagging your man pushes him away, creating a huge space in between you two.
Instead, think about the other things he does for you and the positive things you’ve both been through.
Sometimes it’s not about the nagging – you just want him to care and show it again, and he might want the same.
4) Let the small things go
Rather than nag your partner about the small things like leaving their wet towels on the floor, pick up the towels and continue on with your day.
Do you really want to get into another argument about your nagging?
Sometimes, it’s easier to compromise and let the little things go.
5) Stop cold turkey
If you believe you have a nagging problem, there’s only really one solution – stop cold turkey.
Whatever you have to do not to nag, do it.
Cover your mouth, shout something else, run around the house – do all these things to help prevent you from nagging.
It’s like smoking – you’re not going to stop unless you stop altogether, and you have to want to stop.
When it comes to nagging, it doesn’t help either party. Your partner gets upset that you’re nagging again, and you don’t want to have to nag them at all. Learning to communicate and explain your reasoning provides much more support than arguing with each other. Remember that you love him, and try to think of the good things he does for you when you’re about to nag him. Chances are, he’ll end up doing what you asked him to do…just at a later time. Try to be patient, and work on the communication of your relationship. That’s where the problem generally lies.
